Turkey tales
By Carol C. Harder
The focus of this week is on Thanksgiving, and, for many, the preparations to celebrate the holiday with family.
Sometimes that busyness of prepping can set up a barricade between you – and seeing the humor in anything. Fortunately, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) itself has posted some strange-but-true Thanksgiving Day food stories; and here are the top five.
As an explanation, day-in-and-day-out, the USDA operates a hotline for people to call in with questions about food safety and preparedness.
Of course, the hotline remains open on that most important of cooking days for the year – Thanksgiving – in order to give people last-minute advice.
The following tales, which were presented by a spokeswoman of the USDA, Kristina Beaugh, come from last year’s 2013 hotline, as told to food safety specialists.
Here is the countdown – from #5 up to #1
#4: Tumble Dry Low
Make sure you have the tools before you commit. One clever caller didn’t have a large enough container to brine his large turkey. So of course, the washing machine is next best thing, right? Wrong. After putting ice and brine solution into the machine, his roommate put in a load of laundry with detergent and bleach.
#3: What’s That Fowl Smell?
It’s true that cold water can be used to defrost frozen poultry, but one should really consider where that water comes from. One Thanksgiving host had a large frozen turkey and a small amount of time, so he put the turkey in the toilet and continuously flushed to allow water to run all over it. Somebody get a plunger and a take-out menu.
#2: In By 9, Out By 5
One “resourceful” Thanksgiving hostess forgot to buy a cooking bag for her turkey. Instead she slipped the bird into a dry cleaning bag. During cooking, the bag melted around the turkey and produced a strong chemical smell. This is a great way to get the family on the fast track to Black Friday.
#1: You Are Now Free To Move About The Country
Ever find a great clothing sale when you’re on vacation so you take some things back home with you? Yeah, you probably shouldn’t do that with poultry. A woman found a turkey on sale while visiting family and decided to pack it in her carry-on for the flight home. To make matters worse, her flight was delayed overnight so she kept the turkey on ice in the hotel bathtub. “Ma’am, you’re gonna have to check that bag . . . for Salmonella.”
Happy Thanksgiving!
(And, if you have a question or a funny turkey story of your own, call the USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline at 1-888-MPHOTLINE. The Hotline will be open from 7 a.m.-1 p.m. CST on Thanksgiving Day. You can also visit FoodSafety.gov or follow them on Twitter at @USDAFoodSafety)